Totally Effing Straight
by Beansprout-Ninja
Summary: Marik takes an internet quiz to proves his totally straight sexuality to Bakura. It doesn't go too well. "And I suppose you think you might actually be straight?" YBxMI


Disclaimer: I don't own YGO or YGOTAS; sadly.

Note: Marik is hikari. Just clarifying.

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><p>Marik clicked away at his desktop computer, eyes wide as they stared at the brightly lit screen.<p>

Bakura, sitting behind him on the couch, was…ahem… _reading_ _a book_ while keeping his eyes on the back of Marik's platinum blonde head.

In the midst of the silence, a wild shriek of triumph echoed around the room as Marik shot up from his chair, fists raised in victory.

"You see, Bakura?" He pointed to the computer's screen. "Totally straight!"

Bakura, rather amused, rolled his eyes.

"You'd be straight if, and only if, I was sane."

Marik huffed in annoyance and crossed tanned arms over his lilac topped chest.

Bakura was ever disappointed when Marik had chosen to wear a shirt around their house; not that the shirt hid enough to really _disappoint_ the albino.

"I took this quiz on the internet about my sexuality. My result was totally effing straight!"

Bakura's smile, which was really just an upturn of the corners of his lips, turned down in a confused frown.

Marik was straight?

"Let me see that."

Pushing a smirking Marik away so he could view the screen, he studied the quiz results carefully.

Marik was correct; his result did indeed say he was straight.

It took Bakura a few minutes to see the title of the quiz.

"Marik?"

Marik, ever the happy one, chirped a happy "Yes?"

Bakura, ever the evil one, allowed a wide smirk to take residence of the lower half of his face.

"Did it ever occur to you that this quiz clearly states that it is for _women_and_women alone_?"

Bakura, with a flourish, gestured to the title in the upper left of the computer's screen. It did indeed state that the quiz was created for women and women alone.

Marik's face, colored a bright red, was priceless; Bakura was tempted to snap a picture and set as his wallpaper.

Next to the picture of Marik naked in the shower, of course.

Bakura continued his torture of the pretty blonde by reading the description.

"You're Heterosexual; you're emotionally and sexually attracted to guys. You're in the vast majority of the world. But you're still yourself and you're unique. This means that you like guys, and not girls, and although sometimes you might find yourself slightly attracted to girls, you like guys a lot more. Heterosexuality is your path to happiness; don't let anyone stand in your way!"

Looking to Marik, Bakura grinned. He liked the bright blush spread across Marik's darkly tanned face; it made him look cute and distracted his mind from Marik's annoying, naïve personality.

"Don't let anyone stand in your way," he purred. Slowly, he outstretched his arms, thinking to wrap them around the Egyptian's waist.

Bakura hugged empty air; Marik had stomped away to the living room and, as Bakura stuck his head in, was sitting on the couch, glaring at the television.

"Why does the Pharaoh get to be on the card game channel? He's gayer than I am!"

Bakura sauntered in, plopping down next to his partner-in-crime. Sneakily, he slid his hand over the top of the couch, right above Marik's shoulders.

"So you're admitting that you're gay?"

Oh, how he _loved_ torturing the innocent little object of his desires.

"I was just pointing out how much more feminine he looks," Marik defended. "Only women wear pants like that."

Bakura's gaze drifted down to Marik's own skin-tight trousers.

"If you say so." He smirked. "We all know that the Pharaoh is fucking his little midget anyways."

Marik nodded, violet irises drifting over to Bakura's face.

"You know Fluffy," He smiled, face brightening. "You're shorter than me. Does that make you my little midget?"

Bakura chose not to express what ran through his mind.

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><p>Hee-hee. I had fun writing this one. ^^<p>

I did, actually, take a quiz. That result you read is the real thing; I just edited a bit of it because the creator's grammar was little screwed.

How I adore this pairing. It's rather hard to write though. Unless you write with the YGOTAS personalities; then it's relatively easier.

I give some credit to LK for the personalities; the rest goes to me. (Unless you count the ownership of YGO, which would go to Kazuki Takahashi.)

Review!

-The one and only,

_Beansprout-Ninja_


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